Contemplations...

I have the distinct feeling the universe is trying to tell me something...

The bit of a cold I was almost over from last week is back with a vengeance - I feel worse today than I did all last week.  BUT...

Yesterday, Miss G was tested for Whooping Cough...  It is running rampant around Queensland at the moment, and there have been several cases in our little school, as well as a dramatic increase in my local community in recent weeks. 

So, given my decline, and Miss E coughing quite a lot in class yesterday, and feeling not herself, we are both being tested later today.

G's results will be back either tomorrow or Monday, and ours should be back on Monday.

If the results are positive, we need to stay at home in "quarantine" until a full 5 days of antibiotics have been taken (or 21 days if no antibiotics!).

All of this has had me thinking.

I have been applying for lots of jobs lately and feeling a bit stressed about how working will impact on my life and the girls' life. 

What would happen if I had a job now, and I suddenly had to disappear for a week?  And what happens if we catch something else in a few months time...  With the girls having compromised immune systems, I do spend a lot of each year taking care of them - particularly over the Winter months.  Being a single parent means I don't have a partner to be able to help share the care of the girls' at these times.

I have always been the type of employee who was incredibly reliable, and only ever had days off when I was genuinely unwell.  I just don't feel like I could be that type of employee again - my children will come first and I simply can't be as reliable as I have always prided myself on being... Yes, I know that's my ego attaching to "being reliable", but it has still made me think.

My girls are only 4 and 6, so they really are still quite young. 

Perhaps the universe is telling me to hold off on finding a job. 
Perhaps I'm supposed to be at home for a bit longer. 
Perhaps I'm supposed to be nurturing the health of myself and my daughters, rather than nurturing my bank account and desire to provide more for the girls. 
Perhaps I am supposed to be focusing on the external University Course I am about to start - it will take 3 years to complete if I study full time, so perhaps when the girls are 7 and 9, life will be different.

Perhaps there is no message...